Don’t worry too much if you think you’ve been insecure your whole life. You are not alone. So many others are also trying to conquer their insecurities, personal battles in their head that grew from birth situations to past experiences and relationships. Even the person who appears the most confident in a room is also insecure about something.
For some, insecurities become so overwhelming to the point that they choose to not do anything. They already assume small spaces in society because they think they are incapable of reaching whatever it is that their heart desires.
Sometimes our brains create realities in our heads, even though it couldn’t be farther from the truth. We could not be convinced by compliments we get from others because we already have internal, preconceived truths that are hard to bend. But what life are we living if we shrunk ourselves to roles that do not spark joy in us but we settle because we think it’s what we can only do?
There’s this concept of looking at insecurities as strengths, and I personally see merit in that. Knowing your insecurities and acknowledging them is the first step. There is power in vulnerability and knowing your weakness could actually help you reach for that star you’ve always been eyeing from your bedroom window.
I listed down some of the things I have learned on how to turn your biggest insecurities into one of your strengths.
1. Sit down and really get to know your insecurities.
You have to look at your insecurities as your longtime friends. Every time insecurity pops into your head, write it down in your journal or in a post-it to be posted on a corkboard. In this way, you could take a look at your list and assess what the root cause of your insecurities is and what you could do to address them. It could be as simple as not knowing how to put a winged eyeliner perfectly and practicing every day until you get over this insecurity.
2. Say your insecurities loud and clear.
When you proudly say your insecurities to people and accept them, then anything they say against you that targets those same insecurities could not hurt you or be used against you like a sword. If you embrace your insecurities and show people that their comments about it can’t faze you, then they would even be ashamed themselves to point it out.
3. Use a sense of humor.
First things first, we are not saying that you should laugh at your insecurities or that of others. This could bring up a lot of past traumatic experiences that won’t do anyone good. What we mean here is reframing your mind by associating insecurities with small, funny things so that it will help you see your insecurities as not a big problem that you always have to solve. As they say, laughter is the best medicine. If you look at life more lightly, the insecurities will become lighter and the burden would slowly be gone.
4. Language is powerful so be wary of the words you use to speak to yourself.
Always use positive language when thinking and talking about your insecurities. Use positive adjectives for every negative trait that pops into your mind. In this way, you would be able to link your insecurities to something positive and embrace them instead of letting them drag you down. Instead of saying that you have always been “awkward and weird,” reframe it as you are “interesting and unique.” Instead of saying you are fatter than you used to be or skinny, say that you are in your best shape right now and working on your fitness goals. This is of course easier said than done, so if you want it to become easier or more natural to you, fill your workstation or your bedside table with positive words. In this way, you’ll read the affirmations as soon as you wake up or every time you doubt yourself at work.
Kindness goes a long way. Before you could be kind to others, be kind to yourself first.
5. Use your insecurities as a challenge to help you become better.
Instead of letting your insecurities pull you down, look at them as a challenge or an obstacle you have to conquer. For example, if you want to be good at dancing but you are uncoordinated and stiff, use that weakness as a motivation to learn dance choreography. The same goes if you want to produce music but you can’t sing. You may always pick up a musical instrument to learn and master. If you want to be good at drawing, what you could do to improve your skills is to train your observing mind and your working hands. Or if you’re not in your best shape or ideal weight, why not exercise to shed some pounds? You could always use a desk bike to burn some calories while you’re hard at work.
Reframe your mindset and look at insecurities as challenges that will make you a better person instead of stop signs that tell you you are not good enough.
6. Love your authentic self and don’t be afraid to show who you are.
There’s no point in being insecure about being insecure. The first two steps to healing are acknowledging and accepting who you truly are, a beautifully emotional and vulnerable person. It takes real bravery to be vulnerable and open up. It comes out when someone is confident to plunge into uncertainty and be their real, authentic selves.
It’s hard to see your value when you are highly emotional. But even though it’s unclear right now, always remember that everyone is special and you would always have something unique to offer. Not everyone can be confident and assertive, adventurous and outgoing, or gorgeous and tall. We set standards, yes, and we are able to do so because there is a middle ground and an opposite view. What makes life interesting is that the world isn’t black and white.