For people whose love language is quality time, it’s not really the hours that matter. They probably don’t even count. What matters for them is the quality of the bonding they have with the people they love the most.
Marriage counselor Gary Chapman developed the five love languages after seeing common patterns with the stories he heard from married couples. He then released a book entitled, “The Five Love Languages.” If you haven’t heard of them, the five languages are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Essentially, a love language is how a person gives love to others and also how he feels loved the most. We zoom in on one love language today and find out how we really know if that’s what we want? Your love language is quality time if you tick off a handful in the checklist below.
You listen very intently when other people share stories.
You want to do activities with others rather than experiencing them on your own.
You are disappointed when your plans are canceled.
You plan dates with the person you love and ensure that you make the most out of your time together.
Your feelings hurt when a person you’re with doesn’t listen to you actively.
You put a higher value on time spent together rather than receiving and giving words of affirmation, gifts, touch, or acts of service.
Distance won’t stop you from giving time to your family, friends, or significant other.
You go through sadness and loneliness when you don’t get to spend quality time with people who are valuable to you.
If there are five in this checklist that you agree with, then you feel the most loved when you get someone’s undivided and focused attention. There are some who even say that Quality Time should be referred to as “Quality Attention.”
Spending More Quality Time with Your Family
The kids are growing up and you aren’t aging backwards. As a parent, some of you might have felt that your relationship with your children is drifting apart. They tell their problems more to their friends than you. They spend more time with their significant others than with family. Your eldest is off to college next month. Your other kid is in middle school and going through problems brought about by puberty. The youngest in the family will be moving up to primary school very soon. It’s hard to look at it when the whole world’s changing but it’s how life goes and you can’t rewind time. What you can do is to maximize the present.
You might be a busy parent but you could still spend a lot of undivided time with your family by following these tips.
1. Limit your technology use. Set ground rules to disallow the use of gadgets when you’re on the dining table, watching a movie together with the whole family, or even when you’re doing household chores together. In a day, there must be a time when all of you are fully available.
2. Allot time for a specific family activity. You may prepare together for an outdoor activity that will be appropriate for each member of the family. You can join a marathon or do a massive painting to hang at home. You may paint with your kids in their playroom, using a height adjustable ergonomic kid’s desk from FlexiSpot while you can use a riser so that the table could accommodate both you and your kids’ height.
3. Make it a point to do something at least once a day together. It may be learning a new song on the guitar for half an hour, baking cookies for an hour or two, reading a bedtime book before they go to sleep, etc.
You may also get into fitness by swimming, running, playing badminton, going to the gym, and whatnot. Or you might want a fun round of Monopoly Deal or any board game when you can strategize together and have fun.
4. Eat meals together. Yes, you all have different lives with different schedules. But as a family, you have to set a time where you could eat all together and talk about your day. Drop the gadgets and eat together with the intention of becoming more present in each other’s lives.
5. Have daily check-ins. Let your kid feel that you are present and available for them by asking how their day went. Talk and listen to them with your full attention.
6. If you have dogs, walk them together during the morning or afternoon. This will teach your kids to be responsible and also get to spend quality time with you and their furry best friend.
Quality Time with The Partner
Some couples tend to neglect their significant other when they welcome a kid to the family. Because there are more people to feed, the marriage becomes secondary to the goal of raising the family well. It’s important though the fire keeps burning for the family to stay happy and alive. Even though you are busy working parents, you should never forget to value each other. It’s not really if you have time but more so, if you are willing to take the time to make it count. Here are some tips to not make that fire die.
1. Listen actively. When your partner tells you something, listen to understand. Ask follow-up questions about something in the conversation that genuinely sparked interest in you. Try your best to not offer unsolicited advice.
2. Look at them straight to the eyes. When you engage in a conversation, establish eye contact. It means that you’re hearing, seeing, and valuing your partner.
3. Do not use the phone while you’re in conversation. Make the most out of your time together by giving each other undivided attention. Whatever is happening on your phone can wait.
4. Schedule dates regularly. Do not skip on date nights, even though it’s just once or twice a month.
Take a break for a while from work and clear your FlexiSpot height adjustable standing desk. Set aside the monitors and desk essentials at a safe location and put your plates on the spacious Kana Bamboo Standing Desk. It can hold up to 275 pounds and for sure will be able to carry your two plates, two wine glasses, and even probably a centerpiece to make it more romantic.
You may also have dates where you try something new together. Learn a new hobby or even declutter your room and you might even see photos from your past that you can cherish and look back at the memories.