Subtle Red Flags that Your Annoying Officemate is Actually Really Insecure
September 29, 2022
Do you know a buddy who, three years later, would still boast about her trip to Iceland? Or still, get hurt and stand up for his attractive girlfriend, whom he claimed to have broken up with very recently? Or a friend who continues to reject the idea that we live on a round planet despite indisputable evidence? Regular interactions with these people force us to eventually confront them, only to be stuck in a gaslighting situation or subjected to a lengthy defense of their position.
We don't mean to imply that the friend in issue is unreliable. He or she is simply displaying clear indicators of uneasiness in a circumstance when they are making every effort to hide their insecurities.
This character they made intrudes into every part of their lives, including friendships, relationships, and employment.
If you're wondering whether you, a coworker or a friend exhibits these characteristics, we've outlined a few warning flags that you should be aware of in order to help these defense systems heal.
If you talk about yourself a lot, it's not that you're just talkative, this might also be a case of your insecurity acting up.
Insecure people will unintentionally control or hijack a conversation. When the conversation is not about them, they get disinterested, and once they are in the spotlight, they hog all the attention and refuse to allow anyone else to have it. Another red flag is when they can make themselves the center of any conversation or when they can interject themselves into any situation.
Word of advice: An employee who lacks confidence may frequently claim credit for a team endeavor, even if their actual contribution was only small or minimal. They constantly overstate their contribution to the project and place themselves in the limelight, as if they were the only ones who worked for it. If you notice your fellow employees distancing from you, this might be one of the reasons. After every accomplishment, be sensitive and recognize people's efforts, not just your own.
It's a hard challenge to take on but for extremely insecure people, they feel the need to always get everyone's approval or liking.
The insecure will constantly look for other people's praise. They would never do something that would offend people or give them a bad reputation.
Word of advice: Everyone taps the one insecure individual at work who is unable to refuse favors or additional work. Even though he or she is personally overburdened with the labor required by the job description, the people-pleaser will seize any opportunity if it will win over a friend. If you are this kind of person, stop. You will never ever get everyone to like you. Change your mindset and just be yourself. If you do anything wrong, apologize. If you are in the right and can prove it, stand up for yourself.
If you constantly assume the worst about people, you are probably insecure.
People who are insecure have preconceived notions about how other people should be treating them. Any negative feedback is taken personally. For example, if Ann cancels last-minute on a date with Chris due to an unexpected work commitment, Chris will automatically think that Ann just doesn't want to go to dinner, ignoring completely all of Ann's reasons.
Word of advice: In the job, you naturally assume that the preferred candidate accepted bribes or is simply favored for some reason when your supervisor picks another coworker other than you to send on an international trip or promote. You don't even consider the possibility that it could just be that your coworker performs better. Try your best to keep an open mind, look at the bigger picture, and shift your perspective. No one really likes to work with someone who’s always negative. As much as possible, be rational, and do not rely on your emotions alone.
It’s another sign of insecurity when you display trust concerns or you find it hard to trust other people.
An insecure individual finds it challenging to believe other people's behaviors, views, and judgments. They tend to be controlling because they seek to control the dynamics of the relationship.
At work, you can have a manager that constantly micromanages the team or is curious about what you're doing, even while you're taking a break. They might be covertly insecure and most likely won't be receptive to criticism or advice.
Word of advice: Earn the trust of your superior by working extra hard and keeping him or her informed of your task's progress. You may do this with the assistance of your recently improved workstation. You can invest in ergonomic furniture such as a standing desk, a desk bike, an ergonomic chair, or a standing desk converter. All these can help you become much more efficient that will hopefully ease your boss' trust issues.
If you're hypersensitive, you're probably insecure.
You quickly avoid it or take it personally when someone makes fun of you or gives you criticism about your behavior or outputs to help yourself get better. Any criticism or disagreement with the prevailing view is viewed as a personal attack.
At work, for instance, you can be collaborating on a project with individuals from several departments. There's always that one coworker who refuses to accept responsibility or blame, even when their actions led to a problem. He or she automatically rejects any advice because, in his or her eyes, there is nothing wrong with them.
Word of advice: Make sure you have receipts and don't lose them since, in the office, you must maintain professionalism. Everything should be communicated in writing. Even though the agreement was initially verbal, make sure to record the conversation in writing. By doing this, you may provide concrete evidence if ever a situation comes up and it is needed.
No one is always right but for an insecure person, he or she would think that they always are.
Insecure people have a propensity to always find fault in other people's opinions. Even if you refute their claims with indisputable evidence, they will not accept the truth. They intentionally or unintentionally insult others in an effort to feel superior.
Word of advice: In the job, an insecure coworker would often have the loudest voice in a meeting and consistently disagree with everyone else. If you're the co-worker in the receiving end, don't be afraid to call them out. Be assertive if you have the data to back up what you believe in, but also learn how to let go when people point out your errors as well. The key here is to learn how to listen.
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