A lot of people don’t believe in long-distance relationships even if many are living proof that it could work if the lovers in the relationship show commitment. There are studies that even say the distance makes the love grow fonder so if they are able to conquer the miles apart, their love for each other is stronger when they reunite in person.
But to get to that “finish line,” the road is not smooth-sailing at all. Real relationships are far from romantic comedies where everything seems to be easy and circumstances are in favor of the two people apart. We learn in real relationships that love is never enough. A long-distance relationship is most likely going to go through many trial and error phases for it to work. There would be times that one of you or both will want to give up but if you stay optimistic and remind each other why you’re in the relationship, you would realize why it’s something worth holding onto. According to Time magazine, a healthy relationship begins with two people living in different homes.
Some believe that infatuation between two people takes a longer course when they are miles apart. There is of course the risk of declining affection in the long run that might even result in a breakup when the infatuation phase is over. But there are many studies that prove long distances can also have a greater potential benefit for the couple.
According to a study done by the Journal of Communication, around three million Americans have lived apart from their partners at one point in their marriage while 75% of college students have experienced being in a long-distance relationship. Satisfaction individually and in the relationship are high in long-distance relationships, Time says. This is compared to those who live together under one roof or near each other’s houses. Why? Because couples feel less trapped being in a relationship. They are also more committed to making the relationship work. Couples in a long-distance relationship also engage in conversations more and thus, discover more about each other. The conversations make them closer as compared to couples who live nearby and get to see each other but don’t really talk and share stories a lot.
Another plus is that couples grow more in their friendships and individual interests when in a long-distance relationship. They are able to share more of what they experienced and chat about their equally happy lives. And when they do reunite in person, they feel extreme excitement and maximize the time they have with each other.
There are of course a lot of problems that long-distance brings about. This may include different plans for the future and trust issues but again, if the setup works for the couple, then they are both looking at a bright future. We listed down tips to make a long-distance relationship work and even become stronger over time.
1. Maximize technology.
We live in a day and age of technology; thus, making long-distance relationships much easier in this modern world. There are more ways to maintain the connection and share daily activities in real-time. During a video call, you could set up your laptop on top of a standing desk or standing desk converter and adjust it to a height that is at your eye level or maybe at the height of your partner when sitting so you get to simulate being in person with each other. You engage in light and deep conversations, compared to couples who see each other often and whose faces are glued to their gadgets more when they’re together.
Share details of your stories as much as possible. If you went out for dinner with friends, willingly share information with your partner about who you were with, what you ate, and how you felt during and after. You may even send photos and videos from the dinner that would make your partner feel that he or she was physical with you.
2. Bond by doing activities together.
You can still have the most fun thanks to modern technology. Even though the physical distance is hard to handle at times, you could still spend time via a video conference. You may binge-watch a series via a streaming app and also come dressed to the occasion. You can order food for each other or prepare a menu where both of you will cook something from it.
Aside from movie night, you may play virtual games, cook together, make crafts, and/or have trivia night. The physical distance is very apparent but you could still stay connected through technology.
3. Have a plan moving forward.
Relationships take work so if you’re not willing to commit to your set-up, it’s much better to call it off. Moving forward, there should be a clear plan in place that both of you are working towards to break the distance and finally be with each other.
4. Set boundaries.
Commitment means both of you must not put your partner in an awkward or painful situation. It would mean that you won’t make the other end insecure or uncomfortable in any way. You are still your own person and you don’t need to ask approval from your partner for every social event but you both have to be honest with your boundaries. You also have to be transparent as much as possible. Don’t do anything that you don’t want your partner to know or see.
5. Build trust in your relationship.
A long-distance relationship won’t work if you are not secure with each other. It could lead to one of you calling excessively or sending multiple text messages even though there is no emergency or urgent situation. This could create tension in your relationship and might make the receiving end toxic about it.
The best way to solve insecurity in a relationship is through proper and honest communication.
6. Commit to an end date.
There is a huge condition for long-distance relationships to work. You need to have a vision of a shared future. Long-distance won’t be the set-up forever. You will be more secure with the relationship as well if you have a clear end date for the long distance. Both should agree on how long the long distance will last and what the game plan is to make meeting each other happen.
